Again.

So, I dropped another phone in another toilet. This is phone number four to go plunging into the great porcelain pool! You think I'd learn! I lost two into the bowl at TJ Maxx, and two at home. I blame my back pocket. And this recurring fiasco is why, after almost 37 years, I started to carry a purse.

Before I started carrying a purse last year, I always carried everything in my back pocket. A small wallet with just my personal and company debit cards and ID, my phone and a stick of lipgloss. What more could you possibly need? Well, that works just fine and dandy until you stand up from peeing and pull your blue jeans back up; the momentum of sliding over your bummy causes the phone to be ejected right into the toilet.

The first time, I was hurriedly shopping for a dress at TJ Maxx to wear to the opera two hours later. I was frantically running around TJ Maxx, shaking toilet water out of the nooks and crannies of my phone while trying in vain to get Hubby on the phone to convey messages of opera times and travel plans. I felt so glamorous.

This morning, I was at home with a sicko three year old. I was rushing around getting the house cleaned up since I have a sneaking suspicion that I am next on the list for fever and body aches. After dropping the phone in the toilet, I fished it out. I really have far too much experience in retrieving assundry items from the toilet. A nickel earlier this morning, for example. But, that is a blog for a later day. So, I pulled my phone out, gave it a quick rinse, and tried in vain for five minutes to pull the back cover off.

After nearly breaking it with a butter knife, the back popped off and I removed the battery. I dried everything with a paper towel and decided to dry it out in a low oven. I have had success in this area several times before, even with this very phone. Side note: I dropped it in a huge river after only owning it for 2 days earlier last year.

I had been baking cupcakes this morning, so I opened the oven door, turned the heat down to 100 degrees and put my phone in to dry. Apparently, I should have let the oven cool a bit more beforehand. I returned to find my phone fried. It was swollen and warped. A total loss. Not to mention, I can never retrieve the contacts or photos off of it!

It reminded me of one of the earlier times I had dried one out in an oven. It worked great, but the phone would inexplicably turn off at random times. So, I went down to US Cellular to request a replacement phone. The US Cellular guy who was no more than 12 years old, told me that I had "boiled" the insides of my phone. I calmly explained that I had only dried the phone at 100 degrees and he argued that if I had used the oven, the phone was runied from the high heat. Once again, I calmly explained that 100 degrees is not hot enough to boil anything, and additionally, it was only a few degrees hotter than he, himself. He didn't follow. I bought anew phone.

When I go this afternoon, I am just telling them I lost it in the lake.